Off-Shoulder Top: Zoo Philippines | Culottes, Heels: Zara | Bag: Valentino | Gold Necklace from Dubai | Earrings: Bvlgari | Bangles: Hermes, Accessorize, Cartier, Bvlgari, Etika, Sapphire Beads |
For those of you who follow me on my various Social Networking sites, I’m pretty sure you’re mostly aware that my boyfriend’s back from Barcelona these past 4 weeks. He’s solely to blame for my dwindling presence on the Social Media sphere, because quality time with the beau trumps all sorts of other blogging priority.
Unfortunately, he’s not back for good yet. He’s merely spending the summer to intern in his family’s corporation. He has another year left before he completes his global MBA program, meaning 1 solid year of long-distance dates on skype/facetime/viber/whatsapp (not that I’m complaining or anything–one does as one must).
As a part of his training, he is currently attending the US Wheat Tour, and exploring all things “wheat” in the great bowels of Kansas, Mississippi, and other bucolic farming state to enrich his knowledge. I’m nothing short of proud, really, as this invitation comes as rare as Hailey’s comet—and to a 27-year-old no less. So I’m just counting the 20+ days ‘til the end of his tour, wait for him to be home for a week, before sending him off for his final year in Barcelona… then back to regular programming.
If only it were easier said than done. No one ever gets used to saying “goodbye”—and most definitely not when saying “goodbye” means you’re not going to see your best friend/great love for a relatively long time.
When we bump into common friends in random places, they would always state how they “really admire” how we’ve made our long-distance (LDR) relationship work. And I would always reply, “Oh, it’s very hard” and I don’t mean it in a melodramatic way (God Forbid), I mean it in a matter-of-fact way.
You will miss your partner—it’s a given. It will be difficult at the very beginning, especially when it’s still something new. But once you’re a LDR veteran, the yearning can become a dull and expected ache, but still, there are days when it can become unbearable. However, you’d be surprised to know that the “missing” part is actually one of the more minor concerns when you’re in a LDR. What’s actually more important is finding an intangible bridge to cross the physical distance—be it in the form of:
- Always finding time on your schedule to see each other virtually
- Keeping the flame alive even when you’re miles apart
- Being up-to-date with what’s happening to your SO’s life
- Leveling with the fact that your partner (as well as yourself) will grow separately, experience different new things, and meet all sorts of people.
- Finding your own footing as a physically-single-but-otherwise-emotionally-attached human being
If there’s a cheat sheet on how to make it work, I think it’s both the personal and mutual decision to make the relationship work. Both of you will have to want to make it work at all cost. The relationship will need to be full of compromises and understanding, instances when both your patience will be tested, and instances where you will have to extend your trust fully, and instances where you will be jealous of your partner’s attainments… but once you get over it (and yourself, and your selfish desires), it will work, and it will be worth it.
After a year into my LDR and people ask if I still get sad with this set-up, I always say that I will always miss my partner’s physical presence but I’m extremely happy that he’s out to chase his dreams and live a life full of adventure to better himself. I mean, come on, he wasn’t born into this earth to be my slave and to cater to my every whim. He has a life to live, and he has my full support. When I look at him and what he’s become, I always feel that strange fluttering in my chest–now that’s my best friend, you go best friend.
Anyway, this photo set was taken a week after Enzo arrived from Barcelona. We (his parents and I) took him out to Tagaytay Highlands to be able to spend time with him. On our way to get dessert at Café Breton, he told me to strike a pose so he can resume his role as my once-in-a-while blog photographer. The funny thing is, he really was an amateur photographer at some point in his life but now, he does it once-in-a-while for my blog.
If you can relate or if you have your own tips or thoughts, hell, even violent reactions, you’re welcome to comment. 🙂