Why I Don’t Wear Pants
July 9th, 2011 • 68 Comments
I don’t (normally) wear pants—it’s that simple.
It’s not that I’ve anything against people who wear pants; in fact, there was a point in my life where I wore them almost everyday but that was back when I wasn’t an adolescent hence the lack of childbearing hips. With the influx of unflattering skinny jeans in the market, I decided to forgo wearing pants that altogether highlighted my flaws.
So yes, I don’t wear pants but that’s more of a personal preference. It’s a self-imposed cardinal rule that’s eighty percent borne out of irrationality, ten percent borne out of narcissism, and another ten percent, necessity.
In addition to not wearing pants, I can’t wear pants. I can’t wear them because I have contact dermatitis appearing solely on my lower limbs (something to do with the laundry detergent). Frankly, I could not care any less—whatever gets my mother off my case for not wearing pants is good with me.
It was such a rarity to see me wear pants that at some point in my career, my former boss challenged me with a “no leg baring” rule. I figured, it wouldn’t really hurt to try it out right? I mean, my “no backing down from challenges” life principle trumped my “no pants wearing” rule, so why not go for it!
After my first attempt, I realized: if I didn’t like pants before, I absolutely loathed wearing them now. For one thing, they confined my thighs in what seemed like an airtight sausage casing, then it allowed my belly lard to spill all over the place, and last, it made me the unwilling victim of crotch rape.
By the time I was ready to give up, someone contacted me to attend a Levi’s event—one that was entitled: “There is no such thing as a perfect pair of jeans” and my initial thought? “Damn right!” How could I resist? It was not only prophetic but also very timely.
The thing is, a woman’s body is never, ever similar (excuse you, photoshop standards) so finding the perfect pair of pants is very, very tricky. In addition to the aforementioned reasons, I don’t wear pants because I haven’t found the perfect ones. Yes, I am some kind of a “pants romantic” when it comes to my notion of pants. I’m sure a lot of women out there are waiting for their very own perfect pairs as well.
Thankfully, Levi’s has caught on to this with their revolutionary campaign to help find women the best fitting jeans ever, having spent a huge amount of time dedicated to studying the body shapes of 60,000 women from all over the world.
Yes, very promising. When they made me try the pants, I underwent an elaborate measuring system that would allow the Levi’s crew to lump me in one out of three body categories or “curves.” Because my body shape was slightly irregular, they had me try on a pair of Bold curve size 26, best for curvy women, which I fit in but gave me a slight muffin top, and then finally, a Demi Curve size 27, best for women with balanced proportions (which I doubt I had), that I decided to settle with.
The verdict? It isn’t really what I’d call perfect but it’s pretty much damn near perfect. It fit me well on the waist but it settled mid-waist and usually, I go for low-rise jeans. There was no gaping and no muffin top (unless I’d sit down on a full stomach), but on the thigh area was slightly (very slightly) loose.
In the end, I was pretty much impressed by Levi’s valiant effort to try and reach the goal of catering for a woman’s body type. If you’re like me and pants are hard to come by, I would suggest you check a pair out from their Curve ID line. Let’s just say that even if I don’t wear pants, on the rare occasions that I do, and if it had to be skinny jeans, I would go straight and search for my trusty pair of Levi’s.
That or wide-leg trousers!
Anyway, here are a two tips on which pants to wear for this season for two of the most common body-types:
(1) If you are in search for something flattering (and if by any chance, you are bottom heavy):
Then your weapon of choice should be: THE mostly flattering Wide Leg Trousers.
I know for a fact that Olivia Palermo, Nicole Richie, and Blake Lively aren’t exactly on the heavy side but this just goes without saying that wide leg trousers are universally flattering–they make everyone look instantly taller, slender, and very leggy.
Just to push my point further, Blake Lively, bless her wonderful womanly body, is slightly bottom heavy. The thing that wide leg pants provide is that slim straight line you can get from your hips to your feet, balancing out the swell of your hips and thighs, giving it the illusion of a linear silhouette.
It also pretty much helps that wide-leg trousers are very, very hot right now.
(2) If you are petite, and would want the illusion of a womanly figure…
Mid-waist pants are the way to go! If you are top heavy, make sure that you get enough fabric to cover your mid-section. Likewise, a cinched waist and slim-leg silhouette will give anyone illusions of child-birthing hips–perfect if you don’t have any (and deadly if you’re too endowed in that aspect).
For this season, brights are the way to go–if you want to transition into the fall, choose “deeper” colors. Instead of the teal and cyan popularized during the summer, you can opt for royal blue; instead of the amaranths and the fluorescent pinks, you can check out deep reds.
So what about you? How do you like your pants?
A LITTLE UNRELATED ANNOUNCEMENT (for those who reached the bottom):
Since Konichiwear is turning 1 this July, I will be giving away a slew of prizes. I am still gathering all of them, asking a few shops to sponsor, but I’m hoping for it to be big–big enough to give away 20 or so prizes. Think, fashionable but sporty gear from Adidas, shoes from So Fab!, Nail care from Face Shop, Jewelries, shopping loots from F21, so on and forth.
Winning will be so much simpler this time, a portion of the prizes will be given automatically to those who frequently comment starting this July. So go, tell your friends!