Otherwise known as: “How not to be a fashion blogger.”
If you’re a (1) regular reader, you can tell that from the title alone, I’m being purposefully petulant and cheeky—a far cry from my usual “no controversy, no issue” pacifist approach in writing. If you’ve (2) known me personally for quite some time, you’re probably thinking, it’s just my bullheaded way of dealing with things and it’s high time I’ve decided to do away with whatever self-restraint and composure I’ve managed to impose upon myself since it’s so “out of character”. Finally, if you’re just a (3) very recent visitor of this blog, you’re probably wondering who on bleeding earth gave me the right to discuss things that are usually reserved for “fashion authorities.”
So firstly, I apologize if this will or has already offended your delicate sensibilities. Sarcasm aside, I am very well cognizant that I am in no position whatsoever to discuss this whole “fashion blogging business” (trademark) being less than a year old (officially) in this so-called industry. Plus, I am in no way a “fashion authority” (just kidding!) but then I figured, I’ve gone through having a pseudo-anonymous blog that didn’t work (read: failed tremendously) and witnessed epic blog-related controversies and tribulations all-through-out my term, so if I’m not legitimately armed with enough wisdom (though no wisdom is ever enough) then frankly my dear, what the fudge am I still doing, persisting in this business. So yes? I would like to impart my growing knowledge to those who are interested so if this whole thing isn’t your “trope” and you’re under the impression that this is just a mere cry for attention then well, by all means, click the x button on the upper right panel of your tab to save yourself and myself our own respective delusions.
On the other hand, for those who would still want to go over things despite the warning, then onwards, ye old distinguished netizens! Without further ado, my 5 sure-fire ways of not making it in the blogging industry!
Phase 1: Set up a fashion blog for God-knows-what-reason or no reason at all
Why not? Get a blogger or wordpress account RIGHT NOW since it’s practically free! Keep in mind that the ultimate goal is to get noticed so write something that will attract lots of attention—be it good or bad! The more attention you get, the higher the probability of kaching-kaching that may be converted to a whole rack of Manolos and Loboutins. So write for a whole slew of advertisers who may one day beg to have their banner ads featured on your sidebar, write for the probability of various boutiques sending you a shitload of items for product reviews and what not, write so that someday, you will get enough prestige to be invited to top-notch fashion related events and parties and get-togethers. Sounds really promising, this whole blogging hulabaloo, right?
Phase 2: Abuse your publish button and post just about everything!
Most of us Filipinos say: “The More, the Manier”—so eat your tiny little heart out and post every day-twice a day, if you’re not too busy doing nothing. Convert your blog into your extended twitter—blog about your pet dog, blog about your new shoes, post irrelevant things, pepper your thoughts with eighty-eight exclamation points, post one photo and then flip it and then you have two photos in one post, just go ahead so as long as you make sure everything is entertaining. Never mind if your content is irrelevant—after all, you’re just there to keep your site statistics afloat and make sure people will have a new surprise to greet them every morning when they log on to your website. It’s a simple formula: more posts means more viewers which means more statistics, which means, more monies!
Phase 3: Be Controversial (with a capital C)
This is the extended version of phase 1—now that you know your goal, take it up a notch by being purposefully bad! Why? “Bad” attracts all sorts of attention and it’s more interesting than being “good.” In the real world, people talk about the “bad girls” more than the good girls! Why do you think Lindsay Lohan is talked about more than Hilary Duff? Or in a more recent context, Selena Gomez and Demi Lovato? So don’t be afraid, as someone smart quoted someone smarter (Paris Hilton, I think), “bad publicity is still publicity.”
Phase 4: Make sure your blog is the best and let everyone know about it
Be smart by applying no-cost marketing! Visit other famous bloggers’ pages and comment without browsing through her post, leave semi-spammy comments like: “I like your pet dog in the photo and also maybe your shoes so please visit me at iamsoawesomeiamgoingtoblowyourmindwithmyheels.blogspot.com.” Once you’re done with that, you can proceed to joining industry wanks and controversies by explicitly stating your side, bashing fellow bloggers out in the open, and basically, hating on everyone. Your hate will generate enough page views tantamount to the number of issues you carry on your back. When people call you out on it, you basically ignore them or reply with a childish insult. Let them know you’re famous, you won’t back down, and you’re here to stay forever.
Phase 5: Be Impatient! It’s impossible not to be famous in 1 month of constant posting and constant trolling
If you’re not famous yet in a month then you’re doing something wrong! It means you’re not posting as much as you should and you’re not directing attention to your site properly! Re-evaluate and do phases 1 through 3, because you have another 30 days to get famous.
On a serious note:Trust me, I’ve been pondered about all these phases at some point in my life and well, I don’t reckon that worked at all so I implore all of you to think twice when you set an “approach” to blogging.
Anyway! Here are the original pretty photos photographer Edric Chen took of me a good 10 or so months ago.<3